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Sent to you by moya via Google Reader:
A few weeks ago I was on a date with Mr. Playful, on the third try of attempting to see that daggumit new Matt Damon flick. I was telling him that dating a Black feminist is awesome because yes means yes, no means no, and everything turns on consent. He just kinda looked at me like, ok, that Feminism, 'ish sounds cool, I think. Lol.
Side bar: Interestingly enough, I have not heard from him in a few weeks, #GodbemovingPeoplearoundtoMakespaceBecause, Ahem, spaceisneeded?
The manifesta for Come Correct talks about Black feminist sex, but today I am thinking about Black feminist Love, (which are not mutually exclusive, per se.)
Black Feminist Love. Full stop.
So, my little play sister is going through a break up, and when I talk to her, I constantly have to think "What does showing her that I Love her look like in this moment?"
Sometimes it means allowing her to vent.
Other times it means saying "If the little emails he sends you make you sad, then you have to tell him to stop. Contacting you is a privilege, not a right, your psychic space is YOURS to protect."
Black feminist Love means holding people accountable, suggesting books that they can read to help them be more nimble thinkers. Black feminist Love means understanding that until we deal with our trauma and relationships with our parents, we will NOT be able to connect and have meaningful deep relationships as adults. Black feminist Love means pulling your homies aside and telling her that she is fucking up, without humiliating her. Black feminist Love means standing by the idea that everyone has the right to be who they are. Black feminist Love means forgiving your father even though he abandoned you when you were a little bear, because we grown now and being mad at poppi is not what the streets want. Black feminist Love means that we understand that Love is transformative, precious and a gift.
So yeah.
Love.
#Boom.
Any thoughts on the ideas around Black feminist Love?
Related posts:
- And You Even Licked My Balls: A Black Feminist Note on Nate Dogg
- Black Girl Rule #1: Love the People Who Love You Back
- ?uestlove's Black Feminist Response x Sabina O'Donnell
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