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Watch these little girls WERK to willow smith's whip my hair.
This just made my LIFE!
The truth is that agriculture is the most destructive thing humans have done to the planet, and more of the same won't save us. The truth is that agriculture requires the wholesale destruction of entire ecosystems. The truth is also that life isn't possible without death, that no matter what you eat, someone has to die to feed you.
I want a full accounting, an accounting that goes way beyond what's dead on your plate. I'm asking about everything that died in the process, everything that was killed to get that food onto your plate. That's the more radical question, and it's the only question that will produce the truth. How many rivers were dammed and drained, how many prairies plowed and forests pulled down, how much topsoil turned to dust and blown into ghosts? I want to know about all the species—not just the individuals, but the entire species—the chinook, the bison, the grasshopper sparrows, the grey wolves. And I want more than just the number of dead and gone. I want them back.
[…]
When the rainforest falls to beef, progressives are outraged, aware, ready to boycott. But our attachment to the vegetarian myth leaves us uneasy, silent, and ultimately immobilized when the culprit is wheat and the victim is the prairie.
"over the past few days, a new "movement" has been brewing, almost to critical proportions. the "no wedding, no womb" discussion seems to call for (based on what i've read here) an end to single parenthood, and what seems to be specifically mother hood, in the black community. their premise is the "idea that a two-parent household is better than a single, struggling one." it calls for accountability in child bearing, and sexual responsibility. ok. i can get with that. i mean, raising children IS a huge responsibility, not to be taken lightly, and who doesn't love the ability to make sexual reproduction choices? that's what reproductive justice is about, right?
i've read numerous articles by various contributors to this blogging movement. It might be impossible to read them all, there are probably a hundred of them at this point- all with slightly different viewpoints, and stories to share. each one is valuable in their own way, and there is no arguing with people's personal experiences– so i won't. full stop. i have also had numerous conversations with people who vehemently disagree with this movement's theory and solutions to what may be a very real issue, worth discussing. I might even venture to say that many of us disagree about the very root of the problem.
i guess i shouldn't really be so worked up about this conversation- it is very clear that no matter what i do, I will ultimately be a dysfunctional parent. no matter how much love, safety, affection, attention, resources i give my children and no matter how much healthy, happy, stable, well-adjusted community they have, they will underachieve because…they won't have a father [in their very traditional sense of the word]. it seems, based on the information page i have read, that this campaign is targeted to mothers who co-parent with men. only. wait. maybe i can't get with this.
But NWNW doesn't NECESSARILY equate to marriage, per se, but commitment–a lifelong partnership between mother and father. Both are "married" to the idea that a two-parent household is better than a single, struggling one.
now, based on this definition of what constitutes "good parenting," I completely fall out of the norms of what society and NWNW deems as healthy for children. i am so glad that it does at least mention that marriage isn't the only option for raising children. but I am so curious about why the idea of a two-parent home is better. maybe there is an assumption that being a single parent always means a struggle. or that being single means "alone" or "without any support networks."
also, they have made their stance on sexuality and gender pretty clear [from most of the blogs I have read]. only men can raise boys [to do manly things, of course, like throw footballs, and such]. i was also perusing, and found this little nugget of a comment, written by the founder of the #nwnw movement herself, regarding her post "funny friday: funny excuses to have kids with no daddy." i wonder if being a lesbian couple in a long-term, committed relationship and adopting children is a funny excuse to have kids with no daddy. needless to say, i did not find this comment by her funny. at all.
Oh OH! I got another one: Having a baby with two parents is SO "heteronomative!" (Da hay-ll does that mean anyway? Should we all be "heteroABNORMATIVE?" WTF with a dash of What the CUSS and OMG. The world has gone MAD!)
so, if the person who created this "movement" cannot even be bothered to read a queer theory book to find out what heteronormative means, and thinks that challenging heteronormativity is mad, and hasn't asked about LGBTQ parenting experiences in a meaningful [and not comedic or condescending] way, I will go ahead and assume that my voice, as a queer, black woman, who will potentially mother, has fabulous support networks and resources, is not valued in this conversation. not to mention that even for those lgbtq folks who want to get married, for many of us, marriage is not even an option.
there are so many times that we as black women are excluded from movements, but it is especially damaging for our communities to not consistently challenge patriarchy, gender expectations and class issues. i believe that we all have a stake in the health and safety of our children. i also believe that the concept of family, for most people of color is so much bigger than a marriage license or institution can hold. and who's to say that's less valid? as an afro-latino, who grew up with afro-latino and afro-carribean neighbors, i knew how important extended family was and is to many black folks from all over the diaspora. some of us are living with our mothers, (and fathers), grandparents, and an aunt or two. it is not uncommon in other parts of the world, to live it different types of family unit models than the one NWNW is suggesting.
how do we undo the ideas that an "institution" is going to make us better parents to our children? how do we create community responsibility in child nurturing that fall outside of institutions that often, are not in place to keep us safe and protected [just look at black incarceration rates]. how do we get past the idea that the ideal family consists of one "man" and one "woman" and move towards goals like "children have the right to good books and lives free of street harassment and sexual abuse?"
i mean, if we want to keep our children safe, maybe we should be talking about the fact that 40% of our little black girls will be sexually abused before they turn 18 [and all of the emotionally, psychological damage that can do to a child- especially when she is not believed], often by a father, or father figure. maybe we should be talking about the school to prison pipeline. or talking about domestic violence, and the fact that black women are killed three times more often by a spouse than white women. we'd talk about lack of affordable childcare, fair wages, fair housing, sexual education, sti and pregnancy prevention.
you see, there's so much more that our community needs. we don't need another slap on the wrist as black women. "women, keep your legs closed" rhetoric is so patriarchal, and dated. and frankly, I'm tired shaming, and tired of having other folks make demands on my womb. i mean, there was [and is] slavery, forced sterilization in puerto rico, anti-abortion laws, rape, sterilization of women with disabilities. no one has the right to tell me what kind of body is ok for pro-creation, and what kind of bank account, educational level or house size is worthy of child rearing. let's talk about radical love instead. i reject the myth that queer families are not fit to love and care for children. I reject that idea that a two-parent model is the the only way we as black folks create loving families.
i care deeply about black children. i'm not saying that our children don't need loving supports. i agree that black mothers cannot do it all by themselves. i'm through with being a strong black woman. we don't have to be strong black women. but what i am suggesting, is that i, in fact, am my sister's keeper. i have worked at rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, homeless shelters, all in love for, and solidarity with black [and brown and queer, and low income] women, and their [our] children. i care so much about us, that I believe it takes more than two parents– more specifically, one man and one woman to raise a child. it takes a loving, safe village to raise our children.
Last night, I watched the interview of Jamaal Parris, one of four young men who has come forward accusing Atlanta mega church pastor Eddie Long of sexual abuse and coercion. When the story of Long's alleged sexual abuse of these young men hit news outlets last week, I was shocked and reluctant to comment. You see I'm a committed Christian, a weekly churchgoer, and the (step)daughter of a pastor. I attended grad school in Atlanta, where I also regularly attended a mega-church, led a ministry team, and heard Bishop Long preach on more than one occasion. He's my pastor's pastor. And my deeply spiritual and religious parents reared me that we do NOT speak against pastors (God's anointed). All these things swirled in my head as this story broke. But alas, "it's time to put away childish things" and have some grown folk discourse about sex and power in the church. Ironically, that verse appears at the end of 1 Corinthians 13, the oft-quoted passage on love, because it is a reminder that real love is grown folks business. It cannot be undertaken and sustained by the childish, the immature, and the faint of heart.
If we are committed to a revolutionary love ethic, we have to be honest even when it hurts. And what's honest is that there is something undeniably real when you listen to this young man's testimony. Given the parochial and limiting narratives of Black sexuality and Black masculinity propagated by the church and the unchecked power given to preachers particularly in mega-church pulpits, this man has everything to lose and nothing to gain if his accusations are untrue. He admitted to a same-sex encounter with a married preacher. Because of our rampant homophobia and blind love for our pastors, this young man has been subject to much ridicule I'm sure.
When I looked into Jamal's eyes, I was reminded of more than a few Black men with whom I've come into contact who have admitted being abused as children. Can we get real about the dirty little secret of sexual abuse in our communities? If we're honest, part of the reason that Tyler Perry and T.D. Jakes have been able to build the empires they have is because they actually will name this issue. The success of their films at least confirms that while much, very much is to be desired, we at least have some kind of discourse about the abuse of Black girls and women. But we are virtually silent on the abuse of young men, even though it is too common to be uncommon. Because of our homophobia, insularity, and mentality of closing ranks, we'd rather not deal. And so we leave countless Jamal Parris' to be abused, with no outlet other than legal to address and redress their concerns. And just like we know that prior sexual abuse is a major cause of low self-esteem and other emotional ills among Black women, perhaps we should consider that much of the violent, self-hating behavior that we see among young Black men is due at least in part to unnamed and unacknowledged sexual abuse.
But let's also be clear. What Long has been accused of doing isn't about sex. It's about power, as sexual abuse generally is. And as my friend Theresa has written, we need to seriously rethink our stance on giving pastors all the power. At my church in Atlanta, a few years back, we voted as a congregation to take away all voting power from ourselves and to give virtually all decision-making power to the pastor. Back then, the decision made sense. I understood my pastor to be one who heard from God about God's vision for our church, and I understand that that vision was not supposed to be left to the whim and fancy of the people. When I was confronted with the reality of these four young men, I realized the fallacy of that thinking. Everybody has to be accountable to somebody, and in a community of faith, if God tells it to you, surely God will confirm with a substantial number of one's congregants. Otherwise it's suspect, no matter how good it sounds.
But as I reflect back on that time, I am amazed at the degree to which I bought in to all I was taught, the degree to which I was afraid to question, question though I did. The penalty for challenging church authority is steep, and I've definitely paid some tolls on that highway. And my mode of challenging can't hold a candle to the courageous acts of these young men. So I know the price is inordinately high for them.
Yet, it amazes me that we can't speak about sex given that book of erotica dropped right in the middle of the Bible. Song of Solomon is not just a Toni Morrison novel, in case you were wondering. Ifvthe very preachers who continue to espouse this theology fail over and over again to live it out, perhaps the problem is not one of human frailty and sin as we are so wont to conclude. Perhaps our sexual theology needs revisiting and rethinking. And this for both straight and queer folks.
On Sunday morning, I watched the live coverage of New Birth's early service. Long is a powerful preacher, and his mini-sermon on how to handle tough situations, reflected the best of Black Baptist homiletic traditions. After mocking the crowd ["we're here every Sunday,"] with raucous applause from the New Birth family, and standing ovations after every comment, Bishop Long got down to what everyone "came for." He said that though he was not "a perfect man," he "is not the man the television is portraying him to be." He indicated that he was "gonna fight this thing." And in a most arrogant twist, he put his accusers on notice, "I feel like David fighting Goliath. I've got five stones and I ain't thrown one yet." <Drops Mic>
"Love is not arrogant or rude. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth."
On Sunday, I didn't see any Jesus in Eddie Long. He did not one time express concern for his accusers and it stands to reason that if these are totally trumped up charges, a pastor who admittedly claimed to love these boys would be troubled, would ask his congregation to pray for their well-being, would indicate his own hurt, bewilderment, and confusion at this situatin. But no. None of that. Just an arrogant pronouncement that he was gonna come for (no pun intended) his accusers.
The question to be asked about Sunday's shenanigans is a simple one: "Where is the Love?"
"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers…but I have not love I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and give up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."
For all those folks who think Long's good works serve as an apologia for his abuse, they don't. You can't love someone and violate them, abuse their body, coerce them, emotionally manipulate them, and then lie on them and subtly threaten them when they speak out against you. Abuse is not love.
If faith is the "evidence of things unseen," what is evident to me are four hurting young men, an arrogant preacher, and a Black Church largely unwilling or unable to get real about sex, even though there's a whole lot of it going on from the pulpit to the pews. With that much evidence, what more do you need to see?
Just doing your jobs, right?
This is sad.
Let's play a game
Where you have no worth
And I have no shame
B.Steady is officially one of my favorite songwriters. Ever. Incredibly inspiring. Makes me seriously wanna learn how to write music. Maybe it's time to take lessons from the auntie… I miss the days of she and my uncle having us kids help with lyrics and tracks. I miss music..
The former guerrilla set to be the world's most powerful woman - Americas, World - The Independent
The world's most powerful woman will start coming into her own next weekend. Stocky and forceful at 63, this former leader of the resistance to a Western-backed military dictatorship (which tortured her) is preparing to take her place as President of Brazil.
As head of state, president Dilma Rousseff would outrank Angela Merkel, Germany's Chancellor, and Hillary Clinton, the US Secretary of State: her enormous country of 200 million people is revelling in its new oil wealth. Brazil's growth rate, rivalling China's, is one that Europe and Washington can only envy.
Her widely predicted victory in next Sunday's presidential poll will be greeted with delight by millions. It marks the final demolition of the "national security state", an arrangement that conservative governments in the US and Europe once regarded as their best artifice for limiting democracy and reform. It maintained a rotten status quo that kept a vast majority in poverty in Latin America while favouring their rich friends.
Support “To The Other Side of Dreaming”
In a flash of bold courage and brave vision Mia Mingus and Stacey Milbern began a journey of possibility the likes of which the world… well at least we’d never seen. “..two queer disabled diasporic Korean women of color in the process moving from the South to the Bay to create home and community with each other”?! While surely such a phenomena cannot be new to the universe, have YOU ever heard of such an amazingly beautiful thing?!
This radical act of love and reclamation cannot be performed alone. The costs of moving from coast to coast is daunting for anyone, yet even more daunted when dealing with the realities of our able-bodied and inaccessible world.
In an effort to lend our support to two of our favorite people we are working to help them raise the $12,000 necessary to make their dream a reality.
Energized by the collective spirit that their move embodies, we are calling on our communities to support their vision by giving what ever you can give!
As Mia writes, “the reality that once we’re there, there aren’t even going to be that many places we can go to, get into, be with people in. Will we be able to go over to people’s houses to build with them outside of public spaces (the limited accessible public spaces that is)? the knowledge that what we are doing here is finding not just space for us, but for community as well. we are finding home to be intimate with people in, to be queer in, to be women of color in. we are making accessible queer space, accessible queer people of color space, accessible disabled queer people of color space, for all of us; something that i have been yearning for for what seems like forever. places where we can begin to build past these concrete divides of stairs, money, bathrooms, doorways, reading, speaking…silence and exclusion.”
Don’t you want to be a part of this awesome vision?! Don’t you want to build this amazing inclusive community?!
We thought so!
So here’s how!
Support “To The Other Side of Dreaming” chip in!
http://miamingus.chipin.com/support-to-the-other-side-of-dreaming
$12,000 is a lot of money but it’s the actual, for real, no frills, cost to get Mia and Stacey to the bay.
House alterations (if they get this house):
But building collective disability community… priceless!
If you’d like your contribution to correspond with one of the above needs, let us know by leaving us a note with your donation!
And of course, money isn’t the only way you can help! Check out these other creative fundraising ideas that folks have come up with!
If you have other ideas (like you’ve got a moving truck or you and friends can build a ramp) please email us at totheothersideofdreaming@gmail.com!
In radical love,
The World According to Monsanto is an in-depth look at the domination of the agricultural industry from one of the world's most insidious and powerful companies. A bold, brilliant film and a definite must-see for anyone who is interested in learning more about the multi-billion dollar, omni-powerful, and highly dangerous Monsanto.
French filmmaker Marie-Monique Robin spent some 20 years hearing about Monsanto before she set out to understand just what Monsanto was all about. Robin posits that perhaps the company's past can shed some light on what the company is all about today. Monsanto started out as one of the world's largest chemical companies and is responsible for the creation of Agent Orange (used during the Vietnam War), Aspartame, Bovine Growth Hormone, Polystyrene, PCBs and GE crops (genetically-engineered).
David Carpenter, the foremost expert on PCBs explains how the entire world is now contaminated with PCBs. "They have gone into the water and into the air."
O_O
has not come back/ to apologize: lucille clifton rebirth broadcast #14 from Alexis Gumbs on Vimeo.
There is something my parents and teachers never told me about conflict. To increase safety, move towards it. I'm guessing that this idea, for many of you, is not only counter-intuitive but down right aversive. Certainly, for most of my adult life that had been the case. Just the thought of needing to "deal" with a live conflict would knot my stomach into a ropy mass. After all, stepping into a situation in which people were too angry or hurt to be "calm" (even when the people happened to be me) was volatile, dangerous, unstable. To help me feel safer, I found many effective ways to avoid conflict, or, if not avoidable, bring down the temperature of those involved through a number of effective "soothing" techniques. However, the conflicts themselves did not actually get resolved. They just went under ground. And my subsequent interactions with the same people would continue to have that tinge of danger - the slight scent of gun powder in the air - ready to ignite with the right spark. But that's the nature of conflict, isn't it? The best we can do is get everyone to agree to behave in a "civilized" manner for the duration of our time together and Hallelujah if we can get that far. Or so I thought until I met Dominic Barter, a Brazilian Brit, and founder of Restorative Circles, who has turned my ideas about conflict, safety, and explosive content upside down. Barter's theory is that painful conflict has to do with unmet - and unheard - needs (let's say for respect, security, love, safety). The further we move away from the communication of the unmet need, the louder that communication needs to become to get our attention. In other words, just as people tend to raise their volume in order to compensate for being further apart physically, they also tend to "raise their volume" to compensate for their perception that they are moving further apart in shared understanding. People close to each other yelling At its extreme, this volume raising looks like violence. It follows, then, that in order to lower the volume of a conflict, you move towards it, not with the intention to soothe but with the intention of increasing mutual understanding. This theory underlies Barter's wildly successful and award winning restorative justice process of addressing conflict at all levels. Indeed, when I first heard it, the idea of moving towards conflict felt both radical and resonant to me. Somewhere deep inside, I recognized the times I had escalated my volume, words, actions - in response to what I believed was a complete lack of being heard or understood. Still, as Barter advises, I did not simply take his word for it. Instead, I spent most of this summer trying out the theory for myself. What this looked like on the ground is that my spouse and I seemed to suddenly be having a striking increase in arguments - painful, frequent, unpleasant, tiring, dragged out arguments. At least that was how it seemed at first. I believe this was a natural result of allowing myself - for the first time ever - to trust (just temporarily) that Barter may be right. And so, I was moving us towards the (explosive) exploration of long-avoided areas of "unmet needs," such as "Am I really loved and wanted?" and "Does what I say really matter?". However, neither arguing nor avoding arguments brings on the mutual understanding that, according to Barter, leads to increased restoration (righting of relationships) and safety. Thus, what was different about my experiment this summer is that after every painful argument, we made time (later on) for a deep, restorative conversation (using tools gleaned from Barter's Restorative Circles and other related modalities, including Non Violent Communication). Over the course of weeks and months, these restorative conversations about real truths started to bring us out of the darkness of some long-standing mutual mis-understanding into the light of mutual comprehension. And over time, the restorative conversations began to take the place of the arguments. At least some of the time. And then, a wonderful thing happened. The spaces between our arguments not only grew longer. They grew peaceful. Not simply the quiet of a temporary truce. Not the silence of an agreement to disagree or a patient tolerance of the issue. Not a grin-and-bear it, suck it up, everyone-must-compromise-something type of thing. It was the clear crisp quiet of having things cleared out and set back to zero. The sense of ease and comfort that flowed between us after a painful issue had been honestly examined using restorative tools was profound. Even our children could feel it. Peace, it turns out, is not the absence of conflict but the state of deep inner knowing that your most sacred longings have been fully heard and acknowledged. And that can only be accomplished by moving into - and through - the fire.
- Just because I have casual sex doesn't mean I don't get a choice in that sex.
- Just because I have many partners (all consensual and aware of each other, but even if they weren't aware, rape is still wrong) doesn't mean anyone gets to fuck me without me wanting it.
- Just because I enjoy sex…
French-Senegalese model and editor of Wonderland Magazine, Julia Sarr-Jamois.
BOOLESH1T is an exploration of the evolution of the relationship between humanity and technology. The work presented in this exhibition seeks to explore the inherently fleeting nature of being human and how human beings cope both physically and psychologically with the rapidly expanding influence and permanence of digital technology within modern human civilization. It's an exploration of how the human mind negotiates the massive proliferation of information in a visually-driven, post-literate age.
The name for the show "BOOLESH1T" was inspired by George Boole, creator of Boolean arithmetic. Boolean arithmetic is a mathematical system which precipitated the development of Boolean logic, a system used in electronics that spawned the creation of virtually every digital device and website on the Internet. The Internet has gone from being a source of information and social interaction to becoming a source of, well, a lot of superfluous… "SH1T".
The gallery space will be transformed into an interactive physical and visual manifestation of the artist's interpretation of the Internet. The show will feature traditional photographic prints as well as photo-based installations and mixed media works.
BOOLESH1T is ultimately a visual investigation that seeks to answer questions such as "How can we as human beings continue to lead meaningful, fulfilling existences in a world that is inevitably hurtling toward complete digital automation?""How has this overflow of information provided by the Internet affected the ways that we think and interact with others?" "Are we becoming less compassionate?" "Are we growing less aware of our physical selves and our surroundings?"
My first "GIFT" to you is an animated .GIF flyer featuring "Antoine Dodson" (highly information YouTube video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=civOdWxd4Kc). This flyer contains all of the information for the show's opening on November 6th. There will also be a very special performance by BOSCO near the end of the night.
I would really appreciate your help in getting the word out about the show, so please feel free to contact me if you need more information or if you'd like to speak with me about the show for any reason.
Tell your friends (and your kids and your wife and your huuuusband, too)!