Sent to you by moya via Google Reader:
via Having Read The Fine Print...... by Blackamazon on 4/9/10
I held a woman in my arms as she had seizures
on my train
and we talked
the whole train talked .
We talked in that way that you only really talk when it's a whole bunch of us from the hood , from all walks .
And in a very amazing very real way we problem solved as a small instant community .
I want to say I was this noble Amazonian figure full of wisdom and jumping in to help , but to be real .
I splurged on semi expensive sound isolating headphones so for the most part I can happily and fully ignore situations like these. Work involves me solving people.s lives , a four hour commute , and existential angst equals a tired Amazon.
And I was NOT let me repeat NOT the most useful person there. I provided a smile , a warm bosom and " made her laugh"
People around me had actual medical knowledge, family member knowledge and money for cabs And were able to better advocate for her deep desire to NOT go to a hospital again.
She told me lot's of things which I will not share because I can't assure she'd see this and as such it's not my business to tell like this.
But I do know she made me want to write again and smile again and be in community again.
Because I was not the most useful person there but i was still useful.
it is important at this juncture in terms of media , new old, on paper , on iPad, on smartphone to focus on the idea we are in community with each other and
That our contributions are valued
Not liked or necessarily agreed with or valued
and it is important to tell stories not just of what we hate , of what we snark , of what we LOVE or possess infantile obsessions with
but of the things that form us in real ways
Without the preoccupation of whether or not it will be popular and loved
Now please believe
I have been feeling " less" for a while , stopped blogging cause I couldn't really remember why I started , and only having a flicker when I read my loves or read the reinvention of history that passes for discussion ( and yeah i'm going in on that because I waited three weeks and it STILL Chaps my ass)and " truth telling". It WILL involve axe grinding persay but shit I have to keep it sharp !
but I am struck by something that sudy said that I noticed in February but that more than ever speaks to me now
Pretty much all of this
but for me it was the other way around.
I wrote because there was and is
NO ONE LIKE ME.
and more importantly I don't believe there should be.
Not to teach ( though I love it)
Not to be right because that removes myself from from the moment
I am on a journey other people are on other journey's but my journey my life was focused not on assuming an identity : blogger/feminist/writer/cognoscenti
but on creating a life and a space and a way for myself and others
but most importantly being concerned with the growth and expansion of that ability.
And that's not just artists but people women all of them it's about not JUST telling a story but about showing why that story in anyway has relevance as a member of community
not a spokeswoman or emblem but a member.
with what little i have and that means takingout teh headphones and teh sadness and teh entitlement and joining the world