Sent to you by moya via Google Reader:
THE HANDY GUIDE TO NOT RAPING PEOPLE IN SEVEN EASY STEPS
1. When you meet someone who doesn't want to have sex with you, don't have sex with them.
2. When you meet a someone who wants to have sex with one of your friends, remember the golden rule: You Are A Different Person To Your Friends. Maybe this handy mnemonic can help: Yentl Acted As Ducks Probed Three Yucky Frenchmen. This will help you remember that someone who wants to have sex with one person does not necessarily want to have sex with every person they meet. Confusing, I know; what can I say - political correctness, etc.
3. If you meet a someone who DOES want to have sex with you, but then a bit later they says they'd rather not, don't have sex with them. Again, pretty confusing, I know, but it's due to a special Scientific Fact: sometimes people change their minds. Like, remember the time you wanted a kebab, but then you thought no, I'll have a hamburger instead? It's a bit like that, only with sex.
4. When you meet a someone who is unconscious, don't have sex with them. This is true even if they were drinking before. I may be delving into some fairly arcane theory here, but scientists have discovered there is actually technically a difference between "drinking a lot of alcohol" and "saying yes I want to have sex with you"….
5. When you go home with someone, do not to have sex with them until after they say they'd like to.
6. Practise not having sex with people… Anyone can do it! Why, last week I met at least five women who I actually didn't have sex with, without causing myself any particularly severe internal injuries.
7. When you meet someone who doesn't want to have sex with you, don't have sex with them. I realise I already said this one, but that was five steps ago, and I have a feeling some of you… might have slightly short attention spans."
I made the pronouns gender-neutral and took out some sarcasm I found triggering. I like this though.