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via The Thirty Mile Woman by cocacy on 3/18/10
Writing this book has been up until this point in my life, one of the hardest things that I have ever done. The process has been in a word — tough. Part of my anxiety around the book has been that I have been intermittently placing articles in other venues. During that time, while I have received some positive feedback and constructive criticism, I have also been viciously attacked, most of them personal. I can't tell you how many times racial epithets, insults and the like have been flung my way. Try as I might, they have somewhat stymied my process with the book. This project that I have been working on for the past year now is very near and dear to my heart. It encompasses a nexus of ideas that I have been toying around with for some time and I am both humbled and privileged to have found such a supportive venue to publish with. That being said, I have missed a couple book deadlines now because the weight of the negativity, for a time, was getting the best of me. A friend of mine told me about a woman (whose name I have unfortunately forgotten) who has written about the ways in which the attacks against women writers/journalists are gendered and especially vicious in a way that is not really seen with male writers/journalists. Couple that with the anonymity afforded to people over the internet that gives them free range to be as hateful as they can be and the insults just keep coming. I must admit, it knocked me off my game there for a minute. But I then came to realization that I can not write this book and think about my detractors, that's no way to create. I have to think rather about what is not being said that I need to say and just do it. The final draft is due in three weeks and I am FINALLY on track to finishing it. Fear is healthy in tailored doses but when it starts to impede progress/work/life then its time to fight through it. This year is one that has/will encompass some of the biggest changes of my life to date: I turned 30 (yikes), will publish my first book, and I am now blogging for one of the most recognized national magazines in the U.S. Things are looking good so far. I feel honored to be a point in my life where I can say that I am a WRITER and am actually making a good living doing so. I am learning step by step how to take the punches with the rewards (growing tougher skin in the process) and I hope its making me a stronger writer and a tougher person!!