Wednesday, March 31, 2010

#therisktakers #vulnerableyfearless


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via New Model Minority by admin on 3/31/10

Janelle Monae Tight Rope

For There is nothing wrong with being at check ball with your lady friend, every point is a point of motion, depending on how we look at it.

The funny thing about asking for what you want is that just might
get it.

I wrote last week about Slow Dynamite just kinda running into me, so we decided to catch a flick. Ok. Cool.

THEN. The evening arrives, I show up, Black girl fresh,
green tights, orange blazer etc. Plus I had had an awesome day.

I went to a work shop on "how to write an excellent literature review" and the professor, this inspiring woman from Michigan, kept saying
that grad school writing is hard, you rarely get compliments, you always get critiqued, that is just how it is.

She also said, as grad students we must take risks because the worst thing a professor can do is tell you to start over. That resonated with me. I don't mind taking risks, however what has been hard is controlling the outcome. Being told to start over. Lols.

Why did I feel like she was all up in >.< here.
I felt like she validated my experience and I WISH I heard from
her in September rather than March. However I am glad have heard her at all, she validated my experience with learning how to have my worked critiqued by people.

So SD and I meet up and I am on time and happy about this, #blackgirlsarefromthefuture so we MUST be on time, duh, or look tacky.

He says, movie starts in fifteen minutes, I bought tickets.  He says, "Here is my plan, my favorite restaurant is down the street. Why don't we go there after, then we can go to my house and listen to the new Erykah." Mind you the album wasn't out yet, and I am real particular about playing albums with certain people. People leave scents on albums, as far as I am concerned. Ummm hmmm.

I was silent.

We walked.

He asked me if I had a response. (Like woman please, you asked for a plan, I gave you one, wassup?)

I was just taking a moment to take it all in. And appreciate the fact
that I asked for a plan, got one, and now I need to make up my Libra Loving mind.

So I said YES! Yes, with reflection prior, instead of the instant
yes, is awesome.

I am glad I did because something shifted in me the next day. I feel less pressed and I am comfortable in that in between, liminal space. I now move with the explicit awareness that there is a project and a person there, and right now is cultivation time, so that I can get right and seize the opportunity when it arises. I have let go of the outcome. Do you know how awesome that is?

Of course given his level of consideration, I had to plan something for him so I sent a text like, um, home cooked meal my house 6? You interested? Black girls are big on reciprocity.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd. Bacon grits has made his feelings known and I am like "Word boo? You know I a handful." His response, "thats why God blessed me with my fathers hands." Word? word? So I am looking at building an itinerary for that weekend. Its kinda fun. I was an admin for several executives at one time, so its returning back to my roots to plan out, by the hour, a couple of days. Its a really good skill set to have, in fact.

You know I am good for puttering around a city with someone. #allcityneens. The goal is to read as much as possible prior so that I am not looking like stuck Black girl in class. The good news about having midterms though, is once they are over, which is today, my schedule will go back to semi normal at least for the next few weeks. Awesome!

I have figured out how to #beherenow and #inthefuture. Who knew that I would have to go through all of this to get there? Seeing the Window Seat video on Saturday has only further validated my feelings. The risk takers = #somuchwin. People who take risks influence others, and that my dear, can change the world.

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