Sent to you by moya via Google Reader:
i am not sure if i am going to publish this post or not. cause i know that it is just going to be a rant. but can i just say that some days i just get so tired of racism. somedays, i just get so tired of whiteness. and whitespeak. and white saviours. that i really just want to hide under my blankets all day and eat hummus and read books on buddhism and do. nothing. else.
the funny thing is that no particular incident has prompted this rant. just a million little things over the past days and weeks and months and years and my head gets crowded with all the times that i shut my mouth, bit my lip, turned the other cheek, etc. etc. not even because i was afraid to speak. but because i was too tired to go through it again. i just didnt have the energy to put on my antiracism 101 trainer hat on and try to speak to the particular white people in a language that they can understand.
you know what, white folks, no matter what some prissy chick at harvard law says, y'all cant be that smart as a group. because it is amazing all the things that you dont get. or 'cant hear' unless someone speaks to you very slowly and uses simple words and concepts.
i guess today, for some reason, all of the fucked up white people incidents have just been running through my head, as my unconscious tries to find some rhyme or reason to them. but i cant. you see i stand in a contradiction. on the one hand, i am supposed to assume that people are rational as default. and yet, there is so much shit that white folks pull, that i cant figure out, how they can act and speak that way and expect that there should be no consequences.
i am just so tired. so so tired. of white people's bullshit.
i am tired of white folks being color blind. fuck you.
i am tired of white folks who act like 'nice white teacher lady'.
i am tired of white folks swooping in to protect other white folks, of a person of color who is giving a (relatively benign) critique of their words and/or actions.
i am tired of white folks acting like you cant critique their work because they are 'doing their best'. fuck that. if your best is still harmful…then step your game up…welcome to humanity.
i am tired of white folks acting out white man's burden. like, srsly, i have had white family members expect me to feel sympathy for them because it is hard for them to get used to having a 'non-white' person in their family. yeah. single tear.
i am tired of white folks who are in inter-racial relationships, and then talk about how the fact that they married a poc, makes other poc cry. b/c that special white person was able to see past color and love a darkie.
i am tired of white folks who throw a hissy fit when you call them out on their racism. and then those white folks, call you 'oversensitive and cant take a joke'. well, bitch, stop with the fucking pouting and hissy fit. cause you know what 'oversensitive' is? you know what it looks like? a white boy who thinks that because it is a joke, it cant be racist, like there are no such thing as racist jokes…anymore…
i am tired of white folks who use words like 'hip hop' and 'urban' with a sneer, when they really just mean black and of color. like, what you say wont be racist if you just dont mention colors.
i am tired of white folks who think that i dont know shit about rock or punk or folk or house etc, all i listen to is hip hop. and then dismiss hip hop as derivative or all about money and ass. but those white folks dont know shit about blues or jazz or funk. or the history of hip hop for the past thirty years. or the various schools and movements within the music. or the ways that capitalism has determined the shape of mainstream hip hop. or. or. or.
i am tired of white folks who use the term 'working class' to mean poor whites and not poor folks of other ethnicities/races. like, im working class, i dont have privilege. as if this is poker–and class trumps race.
i am tired of white folks who act like my partner, habibi, has made some huge sacrifice by being with me. yeah, it turns out that *i* am the white man's burden.
and i am tired of white folks who act like i have achieved something by being with a white guy.
and i am tired of everybody acting like white men are at the top of the dating pool and black women are at the bottom. since i started dating, i have always, always had boys of all colors, pushing up on me. that myth that white men arent attracted to black women…puh lease. easiest thing in the world. hell, zora said that back in the thirties.
and i am tired of white folks acting like i dont understand white culture. hello bitch. i understand white culture better than most white folks. no seriously, i understand whitespeak fluently. i had to learn it to survive growing up. i could recognize a white to white dog whistle by the age of nine. just because you dont know my culture, doesnt mean that i dont know yours. you have more social power, i have more social knowledge…see how that works?
i am tired of white folks who think that they have some honorary blackness, and they are an 'expert' on black people, so that gives them some license to act like assholes. this one goes out to john mayer and all the white folks who have dated a poc before and white ppl who have lived in nonwhite neighborhoods and well, you know who you are.
i am tired of white folks who cant take a joke. srsly. the same white folks who will tell a fucking racist ass joke. and usually, i respond with a joke back on white folks. and i go hard. i crack on their paleness, on their dumbness, on their sense of self-importance, on their horrible sense of taste, i turn their whole self-image on them. im just joking…right? yeah, every single time i joke on whiteness, most of the white folks at the table will get defensive. but when they joke on ppl of color, and ppl of color dont laugh, suddenly poc dont have a sense of humor. naw. i have a sense of humor. you dont.
i am tired of white folks acting like being called a racist is the worst thing in the world. oh fuck you. ive probably been called a racist more than most white folks. really, its amazing how quickly a white person will call a woc a racist. and its not anything near to the worst thing in the world. srsly, you have to have a good amount of social capital where being called a racist is the worst that you can imagine. because like, if someone calls you a racist, there isnt even a physical threat attached most of the time. like with words like bitch and whore, when i get called them, i know at times that there is a physical threat attached me being called that. basically the worst case scenario is that someone is saying that you hate people based on their skin color. how is that worst than being told that you deserve to be raped because of your skin color? black bitch.