Sent to you by moya via Google Reader:
via my best friend gayle by summer of sam on 12/24/09
Every year, Nannie would take my mom and me to see the Fort Wayne Ballet perform The Nutcracker. I could never stay awake for the entire performance. I'm still not sure I've seen the ballet in its entirety. (If anything, I've seen The Nutcracker [on Ice?] courtesy of HBO.) I'd fall asleep sometime after intermission. I'd try really hard to stay awake, but the jolt of sugar the peanut M&M's I ate during the break provided never helped me last. (Lately, I've been popping peanut M&M's like they're perscription pills. This may or may not be part of my mourning process. I don't know; I haven't had a lot of time to psychofuck myself. I'll let you know.)
I don't remember much of the ballet, but I do recall being obsessed with this eye that would appear sometime later in the ballet. I have no idea if this set piece was part of all performances or just a quirk of the Fort Wayne Ballet's interpretation, but I do know that I was simultaneously enchanted and freaked out by it. So much so that I must have told Nannie, because in the days leading to our attendance she'd ask me if I was ready to see "the eye." Even today I don't know what or who the eye symbolized. It never fails that I remember this little factoid around Christmas time, and resolve to get to the bottom of the Hardy Boys mystery; I never follow through, though.
Despite my love for A Christmas Story (God bless TNT for that marathon!) and my Christmas carol jams, "The Little Drummer Boy," "O Holy Night," and "Carol of the Bells," I'm not really into Christmas. I'm kind of bah humbug about the whole thing, especially when I can't or won't see my family for the holidays. I think kids' unadulterated excitement at Christmas is pretty cute--despite the shitty premise--but that's about all. Still, I'm glad to think and write about Nannie taking me to see The Nutcracker. I don't think we ever had good seats, so there's nothing about the costumes or makeup that I can recall. Though I hated wearing tights--it was, after, all December--I loved hanging out with Nannie and my mom. Just a little black girl and her two favorite women going downtown to get some culture. Maybe I'll go see it next year.