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Great Moments in Curl History: Ola Ray
Now that all Facebook "Happy Birthday" comments have been acknowledged with a click of the "Like" button, and pinot noir and other substances promoting insobriety have been properly flushed from a key Jhuicyfruit member's system, it is time that we return to our compelling series, Great Moments in Curl History.
This week's GMICH honoree is none other than the inimitable Ola Ray. Most of us remember Ray as Michael Joseph Jackson's love interest in the (still scary as fuck) "Thriller" video. What some of you may not know, however, is that Ray first gained notoriety as Playboy's June 1980 Playmate of the month. But since this is a family blog and we refuse to speak ill of one Michael Joseph Jackson (he ain't dead), we will not speculate that upon being asked who he would like to play his girlfriend in his upcoming mini-film, MJJ responded with, "Yo, get me that babe from Playboy." Instead, we'll assess Ola's Ray's curl.
Frankly: this shit is sexy. And it's versatile. Check the bangs, money. Seriously, yo, the popped collar under the mullet-esque curl—what we here at Jhuicyfruit like to call the jhullet—is what wet dreams are made of. What you see here is a most eloquent teasing of a jheri curl away from the face in order to adequately accentuate those sculpted and elegantly blushed cheek bones. The JHERI! CURL! BANGS! compel one into returning the staggeringly hypnotic gaze of Ms. Ola Ray. Ola Ray's curl helps her say, "Look into my innocent, yet sultry, doe-like eyes. Don't you want to take me back to your place in your Z-28, and see if you can get me to fall asleep before I remember that I left my extra curl cap in my other purse? You know you do." If you are not moist in certain areas of the body within 10 seconds of setting eyes upon this look, then you need to check your pulse. Her name is Ola Ray and she has a curl. But she was in Playboy. And a Michael Jackson video. Do you understand what kind of flawless follicle game your curl has to be on in order to stand next to the man who had the greatest jheri curl of all time? Do you? Do you? That shit is so sexy, to this day we swear to god Ola Ray moisturized her curl with a mix of puppy tears and baby slobber, and that it smelled like sunrise.
Unfortunately, Ray's career went the way of the said hairstyle: gone too soon. Nonetheless, we will refer to all the sexy jheri curl ladies as The Ola Rays (send your pictures to firstname.lastname@example.org).
Here's to one thriller of a curl, Ola Ray. You fancy, hunh?